Never Let Other People Define Who You Are

Posted by Inci Johnson on

Thought Row

 

Never Let Other People Define Who You Are: When you let other people evaluate and define you, more often than not, it's their opinion and rarely valid. What do you do, and how to handle it? We always like to hear the kind things people say about us. You can live with that. Feels good and boosts our egos and self-esteem. Nothing wrong with that. But when someone comes along and judges you in a disparaging or derogatory manner, you realize it's unfair, unjust, and, worst of all, untrue. That's when you need to put up your shields and deflect those assaults.


Virtually all people that speak negatively about others have one thing in common. They are insecure and lack personal integrity and self-esteem. I'm not sure why they derive so much enjoyment in the process of belittling others, I can't imagine that it makes them feel good, but perhaps it can.


When does all of this defining from others start? It starts at a young age, especially in school, then it continues into your social life, then on to your professional life. Allowing others to define you. This leads to self-doubt, insecurity, and, worst of all, questioning the who; in who you are.


The best way to address this issue if it happens to you is simple. Remove the source, like, get rid of those negative and unkind people that are around you. Now that may not always be practical if you're dealing with those kinds of people where you work. In that case, the solution has more to do with you than with them. Your attitude and understanding of who you are, your self-identity, and perhaps the real determining factor is how much you love-like yourself. If you don't like yourself, unkind people can nearly always pick up on that vibe. They use it to manipulate you. It allows them to define you in any way they want.


You don't need me to tell you; self-confidence is the key to never letting other people define who you are. It starts with your perceptions of self. Count your blessings, and build on your good traits. Look in the mirror. It's okay to like yourself. Love yourself as much as you show love for others. Walk with confidence, never frown, and always smile. It's good for your soul, and it's extremely good for your overall health and well-being.


"My reflection in the mirror said to me, who do you think you are? I smiled back at that reflection and said, I am one of God's creations, and that's good enough for me."

Rod Jones Artist 


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